It’s Complicated!

At this juncture my life feels very complicated! I think many of us have periods of time when life can be mysterious and complicated. When you add on the uncertainty factor it can become overwhelming for planning or decision making. These three words have similar meanings for my life right now. The word mysterious is similar to uncertainty, since it means: unknown, disguised, unclear, but also with a twist of serendipity which makes it a bit enticing to me. The word complicated causes me to feel perplexed, and sometimes stressed, and without clarity since the outcome is unknown or uncertain. The word uncertainty, causing fear, lack of control, doubt, confusion, and as with the other words, meaning without clarity, and with unknown outcomes.

I am at a crossroads in my life and need to start taking some reconnaissance trips for exploration of where my next home will be, but I hesitate to make the final plans because of these alarming Covid-19 variants still causing so much uncertainty. Making any travel plans outside of the country is even more daunting with all the different protocols changing continually with Covid-19. Let’s face it, planning has been challenging during this entire pandemic!

The question is…..what to do in the meantime? I want to make plans, but I don’t want to get excited, and then have to cancel them. Travel insurance only goes so far, and with Covid-19 there is very limited coverage. Staying put and being on hold is so frustrating, and just adds to the feelings of being uncertain and out of control. Thankfully I have my creative outlets that allow me a way to express myself, as in this digital painting I have entitled: It’s Complicated! All the scribbles and lines represent my mind attempting to make decisions in this time of uncertainty. The white hearts represent me surrendering to the reality and offering loving-kindness and compassion to myself and the entire world. The blocks that have no scribbles represent hope and clarity.

Eventually we will get beyond these uncertain barriers in our life and start planning and traveling like we used to do before pandemic life changed everything in 2020. Patience is a virtue, and we are all becoming pros at being patient living with this uncertainty. I look forward to the day when hopefully we will be able to see all the positive outcomes that will arise out of one of the most uncertain periods in our history.

It’s Complicated

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